My Creative Muse: Why I Can't Quit My Day Job

Creative inspiration often comes to me while I'm driving, or lying wide awake in the middle of the night, or mopping the kitchen floor. And yes, occasionally, even when I'm sitting with a client and forget for a few moments that I'm supposed to be paying attention. I love it when that happens: my brain envisions the beautiful piece of art I'm going to create just as soon as I can get my idea on paper, how I can hang my masterpiece on the wall and feel that little ping of satisfaction every time I pass by.


As soon as I can, I retreat to my creative space, my computer/art room, which I try to keep tidy but inevitably is overcome by piles of paper and scraps of metal and lists of things to buy to enhance my creative spirit, and piles of art books, and--oh, yes--the sauna (I am convinced the infra red heat rays stimulate the artistic part of my brain--or maybe just kill off the rest of my brain so the creative part seems bigger). Once a month or so I don my hip boots, grab a shovel, and clear a path from the door to my art table. I sort and save and throw, papers and paints and brushes swirling everywhere, until I have piles of things to save and throw away and hide and recycle (hoping that Gary isn't crippled by the weight of the recycling and garbage bins as he hauls my stuff to the curb. Well, we don't really have curbs here in Chester. I wonder if bears eat art supplies.) For a day or so I pause every time I pass my art room, huffing with satisfaction at my ability to organize. By the second day it once again looks like a hoarding nightmare. Who knew the creative spirit would be so messy?


Then there are my forays to the craft stores. I want to tell you I travel into the city regularly to peruse the high end art supply stores, but the truth is I go to Michaels and AC Moore at least once a week. I know it's difficult to imagine me stooping to such second rate fare, but I do wear a disguise when I go, just in case I run into any buyer kinds of people from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Occasionally I go to a real art store and buy all kinds of wonderful paper in a variety of textures and hues, my mind a creative whirlwind of ideas.

Okay, okay. The creative process. Finally, I am sitting at my little art table, surrounded by paper and paint and brushes and scissors and metals and tools, and....not a creative thought to be found. I sit. And think. And try to remember just one of those wonderful ideas I had standing next to the paper rack at Peart Art Supply. Nothing. Nada. Not even a wisp of memory. So okay, this happens. All artists get blocked at times. I will soldier on. I root through my little pile of papers and choose an inspirational color. Brown. Okay, so brown isn't inspirational, but it looks good with inspirational colors, so I pick a few of those colors and spread them out in front of me. Still nothing. I pick up my scissors and cut out a shape. I like it, so I cut another one, and another. One falls on the paper and I like the way it looks, so I spend the next 4 hours arranging my three little shapes on the paper until my hand goes numb and I decide I like the last arrangement. Okay, what else can I add? Wait! I have some fabric so I throw a piece or two on the paper and then I remember a button popped off my coat yesterday and it's brown and it matches the brown paper. And then while I'm looking for the button I find an old piece of rusty metal that just has to get on the paper and while I'm at it maybe I'll throw in a splotch or two of paint because I'm in a splotching mood. And oh, yeah, now I remember this technique I read about last week and I think I might as well try it. It doesn't really go with what I'm working on but if I don't use it now I may never remember it again, so I throw it onto the paper, too. By now there isn't much brown background showing, but I didn't really like the brown anyway. And wow! All those colors. Who knew it would take so many colors to make a masterpiece. Okay, now I think I'm finished. I have to glue everything on the paper, so I carefully pick it up to move it to my glueing area, but....&^%*$#!! I dropped it and all the papers slid off. It takes me another hour to figure out how to get everything back on the paper. It doesn't look as good as it did before but by this time even I am getting tired of looking at my masterpiece so I decide to begin glueing. (What a funny word 'glueing' is. I wonder it that's how you really spell it. I used to be quite a good speller, but lately...oops. Back to the glueing process.)

(I didn't really want to make a new paragraph just when I was on a roll, but I know all readers are not blessed with my reading fortitude and long paragraphs might discourage some weaker souls. Besides, a new paragraph might create hope that I am almost finished. NOT!) Anyhow, glueing. I get my bottle of pH balanced glue (stop laughing!) and I'm ready to go. I have to glue from the top down (you will remember that I have been working on this for hours and there are a LOT of layers). Usually the little things are on top, so I pick up a microscopic button and oops--it fell on the floor. I put the glue bottle down, stand up and move my chair so I can find the button. Soon I am on my hands and knees, with my nose three inches from the floor, trying to find that damn button, which refuses to be found. So I find another button which doesn't really match but I am NOT spending any more time looking for that button. I return to my seat but I can't find the glue. After 5 minutes I find it on the computer table where I put it when I started looking for the button. Now I've got the glue, but I lost the second button. Fortunately, I now find the first button under a stray scrap of paper, so I dip it into the glue and it falls on the paper, but not where it's supposed to be. I try to remove it but it leaves a big splotch of glue so I have to leave it where it landed. I decide it looks okay there. I then pick up the second button and realize I forgot to put the cap on the glue and now the glue has hardened so I can't get any glue out until I spend 10 minutes removing hardened glue from the bottle.


Okay, so now I AM almost finished (the story, not the art project). I repeat this process multiple times. I finally work my way through the layers. Everything is glued sort of where I want it to be and all I have to do is put the layers on my brown paper, which I do. I congratulate myself, but then I notice that one of my shapes is glued on crooked. I try to slide it over but the glue is setting and I have to tug the sheet, until, of course (this being part of the creative process) the brown paper tears. Now everything but this last piece is glued on the brown paper, which is ripped. Being creative, I develop a creative solution. I throw the damn thing away.

Now (last paragraph, I promise!), I want you to know I made my Christmas cards this year. Yes, there are some glue splotches, some buckled paper, some crookedness, they will probably require extra postage (all those layers!) and I have said bad words while creating them, but they are mine! Or rather, yours, when you receive them. Please remember my creative process as you throw them away! Sigh.